Some thoughts on self-identification.<\/p>\n
I’ve been hanging out in my local kink and sex-positive communities I also make a great effort to know myself, and to think about how to communicate that into the world in some useful manner. I created this name, shiny, very intentionally as I was re-entering these communities after a significant hiatus for life-changing events.<\/p>\n I made an agreement with myself to live my life in a particular way. To inspect the dark corners, wrestle with what I find, and emerge triumphant. I wanted to see what would happen if I opened myself up to let people see how much joy and love I am capable of giving, without holding myself back because of fear. It was an agreement to shine.<\/p>\n It began with a screen name, a way to represent that agreement to myself. Over time it became clear to myself and other people that shiny<\/em> is who and what I am. It’s really more of a descriptor than a name, and in my own perverse way I much enjoy being identified by a description of my most keen life goal.<\/p>\n It works pretty well. Most people get it.<\/p>\n I gravitate toward communities of choice, accepting of self-identification. I don’t need you to tell me who I am, because I am going to work that out on my own and attempt to express it back to you in word and deed.<\/p>\n Some people have a difficulty taking anyone seriously who has a name like shiny<\/em> – I get that, it’s a bit different. Then again, I teach consent classes, so here’s a good opportunity to start practicing. It doesn’t matter what you think, it matters what I’m asking you to respect about me.<\/p>\n I’d like you to understand that it’s an attempt to help you know who I am and by what path I have so far come to be that person. It’s not an attempt to engage you in non-consensual frivolity.<\/p>\n So here it is: If we haven’t met before, or you’re not sure what I like to be called, I like shiny.<\/p>\n Thank you for being open to people who attempt to define and identify themselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Some thoughts on self-identification. I’ve been hanging out in my local kink and sex-positive communities for…since 2008, I think. I have lost track. I make an effort to know people in the local kink community, to try to know them beyond a list of “things we might do together” and to think of them asSome thoughts on self-identification. I’ve been hanging out in my local kink and sex-positive communities for…since 2008, I think. I have lost track. I make an effort to know people in the local kink community, to try to know them beyond a list of “things we might do together” and to think of them as […]<\/p>\nfor<\/del>…since 2008, I think. I have lost track. I make an effort to know people in the local kink community, to try to know them beyond a list of “things we might do together” and to think of them as humans (and some fae!) with lives, dreams, passions, pains… whole beings.<\/p>\n